College dorm living is one of the biggest changes a new college student will face. First, many dorms are at least two people to a room. Next, there are shared resources like bathrooms, common areas for eating or studying, and there is usually nowhere to get any real privacy.
Then there are the few hundred new friends that you need to interact with on a daily basis. Knowing how to play in that big of a sandbox can be a bit overwhelming. Add that many dorms are coed; it brings new issues to the table. For many new college students this is their first experience with being away from home and loosing the support of their family and friends.
This may be the first time many new college students make all their own daily decisions like when, where, how to eat; sleep; even get up in the morning. Not to mention fitting some class and study time in each day. That’s a lot of changes and self discipline to absorb in the first few weeks of college life.
The social aspects, the peer pressure, the grades pressure, and being on your own is a new experience. And the temptations of every kind can be alluring. Some may adapt quickly, some may need a little real world example to demonstrate the obvious (well, obvious once you’ve been through it).
What can you do to help? That’s a tough question since every new student is different. My mother and father handled it very differently. My father looked me in the eye and said that my grades will reflect my judgment. I had to thing about that one for a while. My mother told me to just act myself, be friendly, and make sure I made it to class everyday. Of course she ended with don’t worry too much about the small stuff, pay attention in class, and always make time for studying.
There was much more mentioned but that’s pretty much what stuck with me. I was paying my own way so money rarely entered into the conversations although my parents helped out when ever they could. I also got at least one phone call a week (if I didn’t call home) to see how things were going. Some weeks those phone calls really helped when I was having trouble with one thing or another.
I think that’s the best position for most parents and family members to take. Be supportive, add a little parental guidance, and be there when they have questions. Check up on them but don’t over do it. Everyone in the family can be part of the support group. Older siblings, aunts and uncles, and grandparents can all participate too.
Care packages help too. My family often sent me stuff from food to blankets. The contents always came in handy but I think the fact that you knew someone was out there and cared enough to send you something was a good thing too. Packages always had a short note on family news and even pictures.
The bottom line is every new student has to find his or her own way in learning how to deal with college dorm living. Being supportive can mean just being there when needed. Offering advice when asked, and often just listening can help make sense out of the new lifestyle. There are going to be mistakes, that’s what learning is all about. The key is to try to let them know that we all go through these trials and tribulations when we are young.
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